Tresbian -.-

And out of all these things i’ve done… I think I love you better now

I cant stop crying lol

I know you, I know you well, I can tell when something isn’t right because I care, all of this time spent together, washed away in a mere few weeks, i’m falling apart, I wont lie, whats the point in lying? It never did us any good in the end…

I’m writing all of my feelings down for the last time on here, because I want you to see, I want you to think, I want you to feel a part of what I’m feeling, because it really doesn’t seem like you care…

That night I’d no idea what I really should of done with myself, I felt betrayed, angry, and highly emotional, being treated the way that you treated me towards the end, after you had said you loved me so many times, after all the great times we had, holiday, shopping, christmas, birthdays, I tried so hard to give you everything that you deserved and more but it wasn’t enough, I hate myself for not being able to provide you with what you wanted, I hate myself for starting arguments, and I hate myself for letting you slip away.

I really did think I was starting to get over you until I saw you at the show, I was on the stage and saw that you arrived and my heart stopped, I felt like running away then and there, I wasn’t ready to see you, when you hugged me I really thought we had a chance for a split second, I waited for you to text and you never did, I waited and it seemed like years, every single memory, every single little thing has come crashing back to me over the last few days and I really have been a state, knowing you’re with her is killing me inside, it should be you who is cuddled into me this christmas, but it’s not, every last hope has died along with everything that has ever happened.

It’s really time for me to let everything go now, because I cannot go on feeling like this anymore, I cannot take the heartache and pain all of this is causing me, If this is what love feels like I don’t want it anymore, I never want it again, the constant nagging feeling, the constant “what if…” in the back of my mind is driving me insane… I know you said you never knew what love feels like, and I dont know if you really can relate to this, if there ever was the slightest feeling you had for me, you would stop running away from this whole situation, you would make an effort, and be there for me like you said you always will, because truth be told, I’m fucking lost without you, I’m nothing without you, everything I told you, everything thats happened, It’s not going away, its still there, and its really starting to dig in, and you’re the one person who knows me inside out, you are the one person who knows everything, and now you’re gone…

If there was the slightest chance I could be with you again I would take it, I miss cuddling up to you, I miss kissing you goodnight, and I even miss arguing with you, every single little detail that came with our relationship…

I love you Jennifer,

and that is something, that i’m not afraid to admit, ever… 

OK, ive made my new tumblr, send me a message for link x :)

Sat here scrunching up my nose in some kind of hope it will miraculously make my cold disappear